|
|
How does your child behave when he or she is angry? Is there an unnerving calmness that makes you wonder what to expect or is there an intense overreaction that can’t be ignored?
The child who responds to anger by stomping around and crying hysterically is a little easier to identify than the child who smirks and calculates a methodical plan to get even with the source of his anger. These two dramatically different responses to anger can be labeled as "reactive" and "proactive."
A REACTIVE child responds to anger by throwing what most people would refer to as a tantrum. Arms may flail, feet may stomp, and tears may flow. Screaming and crying are usually a given. Actions are impulsive and emotions typically run high. A reactive pre-teen can seemingly transform into a toddler in less time than it takes to roll your eyes.
A PROACTIVE child responds in a subtle, less noticeable manner. His mind begins to plot revenge against the person who has dared to "cross" him. He is calm and collected on the outside, but manipulative and deliberate on the inside. A proactive child is quite skilled at hiding his angry feelings behind an impassive expression.
Here are some other identifiers typically associated with these types of children:
Reactive: "red-faced," out-of-control, immature, loud, demanding, and short-tempered
Proactive: calculating, manipulative, "charming," passive-aggressive, and arrogant